What I’m Reading: A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

I found this book by way of a fantastic interview with one of my favorite authors, Michael Lewis. This lockdown has taken a toll on just about all of my habits, not the least of which reading. So looking at this thick book, though not massive, is a bit daunting. But I trust the judgment of Lewis, and perhaps a big, long piece of fiction is precisely what I need to pull myself out of this rut. The book, of course, is all too timely. Count Alexander Illyich, under orders from the Bolshevik government, is ordered into house arrest in a hotel for the remainder of his life. The novel follows his time spent in the walls of his 5-star prison, learning and adapting to life inside 4 walls, something we have all become too familiar with these past few months.

What I’m Working Towards: A Lockdown Routine

This has been a long time coming. Frankly, I should have started a clear routine much much earlier. But, I convinced myself that between classes and graduation, I would wait it out and see what I could get away with. Now, I have no excuses to make. Today is day one of that new routine. And that means a few things. First of all, it means getting back into the personal learning routine. Cracking open books and papers to try and get back in the water professionally. Secondly, it means more writing. I took a bit of a break from the blog, the pandemic depression made writing feel a bit useless, but if I didn’t get back it now, I knew I never would. While I’m not sure how much will end up on the blog or what form it will take, I’m hoping to get back to writing a bit more every day. Finally, it means a big reign in on my free time. I’ve been very, very liberal with my relaxation these past few weeks.

What I’m Coming to Terms With: Uncertainty

What comes next is a good question. A few things are brewing in the background, but nothing certain. That uncertainty has been an enormous drain, and I’m sure everyone is feeling some kind of existential dread about the future in their own way. The hard truth, of course, is that there is no real cure. Not a perfect one anyways. The reality of this pandemic is that we are all coming to terms with the real uncertainty that exists before us every day, lockdown, or no lockdown. The only difference now is that the odds didn’t play out in our favor. If this teaches us anything, its worth learning that we can only control so much. And, in a cruel twist, what we do have control over — our reactions — are the only panacea we have to that internal dread. Even then its not perfect. All we can do is manage our outlook and our reactions. The rest isn’t up to us. It’s a tough truth to come to term with but the cost of ignoring that fact is much much bigger than anything a pandemic ould throw at us.