by Owen | Apr 12, 2020 | 2019-2020, Weekend Reflections
What I’m Working On: Staying Healthy (As Possible)
It’s incredibly easy to be unhealthy right now. My gym is closed and working out at home isn’t quite cutting it. So inevitably I’ve had to rely on tightening up on my nutrition. Food has always been a dangerous variable in my life. I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia for a long time. And while I’ve been able to cope, a crisis like this makes it very difficult to keep a clear head. There’s never an apparent fix to ED and dysmorphic disorders. I find journaling and daily runs/walks help a lot. But of course, the demon always comes creeping back to the mirror. The best we can do right now is try to keep a clear mind and be lenient with ourselves. Things won’t be the same, we will slip up, and that’s okay. It’s important to remember that this is just a moment in time. We will be able to get back to our routines and our “optimum” routines. Forgive yourself now so you can come back strong later. Do what you can, and be comfortable with change.
What I’m Struggling With: Focus
I can’t seem to focus on anything for longer than 20 minutes. Doing any kind of long-form work or activity is somehow out of reach. My work has plummeted, writing feels like a chore, and my reading habits are jumpy at best. I have a feeling everyone else is going through something similar. Somehow the only things that feel normal are things that I have put away until recently. Suddenly video games are providing the most comfort — the craziness of the outside world outmatches fantasy for once. Usually, I would chide myself for spending so much time playing games and watching TV but I’m not sure I can afford to be that hard on myself right now. I’d love to get a bit more writing done and be a bit more productive but I also don’t think I can afford to ask too much of myself. A little every day is the most we can ask of ourselves right now. Choose alive time when we can, and forgive ourselves if we need a moment to choose comfort.
A Quote I’m Thinking About
“I have learned to be a friend to myself Great improvement this indeed Such a one can never be said to be alone for know that he who is a friend to himself is a friend to all mankind”
Seneca The Younger
by Owen | Apr 5, 2020 | 2019-2020, Weekend Reflections
What I’m Reading: Moneyball by Michael Lewis:
Every time I think I’m done with Lewis’ work I keep coming back. Worse. I keep putting other books down to pick up the next. My reading habits haven’t fared well during the shelter in place. I can’t seem to pick up new books or dense topics. Lewis’s work, however, has been a good anchor for my habit. It’s just the right balance of interesting and fun to keep me going (without going insane).
What I’m Struggling With: Liminal Time
We are all approaching the breaking point of this COVID-19 shutdown. Just about everyone I’ve talked to has started to go just a little bit stir-crazy and its picking up fast. The issue here, at least for me, seems to be all of the liminal time. I’ve never been particularly good at doing nothing. I tend to bounce from activity to activity and I always need to be doing something (something I’m working on), so these last few weeks have been particularly agonizing. For now, I’m doing my best to maintain habits as best I can and find activities that balance relaxation and work. I’m turning to philosophy where I can. Perhaps after all of this, we can all be a little more comfortable with downtime. We might all be better for it.
A Quote I’m Thinking About:
“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
Marcus Aurelius – Meditations
This is particularly pressing for most college students right now. Any future (in the short term) we had prepared for is now as foggy as it’s ever been. Remember, we can’t predict or fear the future. All we can do its confront it with the tools we have, and do our best to come out the other side better than we went in.
This Weeks Posts:
by Owen | Mar 29, 2020 | 2019-2020, Weekend Reflections
What I’m Re-Reading: What Makes Sammy Run? by Budd Schulberg
I’ve found it really difficult to get into new books this last week amongst being stuck at home and biding my time. So I’m returning to one to one of my favorites. This book has played through my head for months on end since I first read it at the end of last year. As I’ve already talked about it in a previous post, I won’t go into much detail. But I must say the second read is even more enlightening than the first.
What I’m Using this Time For: Learning
Given we are all spending a whole lot of time at home for the foreseeable future, I’ve decided to use this time to dedicate myself to learning. Every day I am picking some subjects or skills that I want to explore more. As for skills, I’m taking the time to spruce up on my guitar playing. Alternatively, I’m taking some free online courses in economics through Tyler Cowen and Alex Tabarrok’s Marginal Revolution University (you should also check out their blog, one of my daily reads). I’ve always had a passing interest in economics and now seems like a good a time as any to dive in. Even if these don’t serve a concrete purpose, I’m having a lot of fun exploring new ideas. Who knows what else that might spark.
What I’m Playing: Animal Crossing
Along with just about everyone else stuck at home. I’ve played the various iterations of Animal Crossing since I was a kid but I’ve never had this much fun before. The only danger is giving over too much of my useful time, no matter how fun.
Posts This Week:
by Owen | Mar 22, 2020 | 2019-2020, Weekend Reflections
What I’m Reading: The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Taleb, the former options trader, has been on my mind amidst the COVID-19 Epidemic. I first came across his work in Malcolm Gladwell’s New Yorker article dissecting his trading. Of course, his methodology and philosophy became a series of best-selling books, namely, The Black Swan. Ever the skeptic, Taleb breaks down what he believes is a fundamental flaw in the human cognitive process and that which he has based his life on. This is the Black Swan or the random unforeseen events that we seem to rationalize away and ignore in favor of the normal. By bringing to light problems such as confirmation bias and that narrative fallacy, he highlights how our blindness and unwillingness to accept the improbable can be catastrophic.
What I Failed to Do: Keep Posting
With everything shutting down and everyone spending more and more time at home I found myself less and less interested in trying to write. It took a while to pull myself out of this hole and this roundup is more or less how I’m trying to get back into it. I’m hoping next week I can get back in the habit and start putting out more words.
What I’m Looking Forward to: Road Tripping
Well not so much a road trip as a 4 day U-Haul move, but I’ll take it. I’ll spare you the details but the short version is that I’ll be spending the next few days driving a truckload of things across the country to Texas to wait out the COVID-19 pandemic and let things settle down. I’ve never been on any sort of cross-country road trip (that I can remember), so I’m excited to see how I’ll handle it.
by Owen | Mar 15, 2020 | 2019-2020, Weekend Reflections
What I’m Reading: Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk
Its no secret I’m a fan of Chuck P. I’ve read most of his work but somehow never found the opportunity to crack open Invisible Monsters. This one is a lot of fun, in a totally twisted way only Palahniuk can provide. An unnamed narrator tells her life story from fashion model success to disfigurement, arson, and cons. Not to mention one of the best twists I’ve ever read. I thought I could use some fun, dark reading in the midst of all of the chaos and this one definitely delivered.
What I’m Trying to Do: Maintain Routine
The coronavirus outbreak has more or less put my life at a standstill for the foreseeable future. My classes have moved online and most of my projects and work have been canceled or postponed. With all of my new free time, there is an extreme temptation to slack off and waste the days away. It’s a dangerous path. To avoid it I’m trying to keep as much of a routine as possible. I’m cutting back where needed and doing what’s responsible but still maintaining some sense of normalcy. It’s difficult but letting it go would be much worse.
A Quote I’m Thinking About:
You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
Marcus Aurelius
Posts This Week
by Owen | Mar 9, 2020 | 2019-2020, Weekend Reflections
This was meant to be the first book by Lewis I was going to read. But, I felt that diving right into his more recent work was jumping the gun. So I put it off until I made my way through a few others and felt really familiar with his work. But of course, every book was a new striking voice, and this one is no different. Here Lewis dives into the life and collaboration of Israeli psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky who changed the way we think about, well… thinking. Together they studied bias and decision making revealing how feeble our minds can actually be. While the psychology is interesting (I recommend reading Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow), the story behind their friendship is even better. I can’t recommend this one enough.
What I’m Reminding Myself: It’s Not That Important
This last week I went on a cruise with some friends. And, by choice, I went (almost) entirely without cell service or internet. While it was nice to get away from social media, It was even nicer to get away from the stress of work and projects. But, of course, my inner anxiety would catch up with me. I found myself worrying about gear rental emails and the paperwork I needed to do. I dreaded what was waiting for me in my inbox. While it was full, nothing I was worried about had come for me. In fact, everything was fine. We often like to use the phrase “it’s not rocket science” about easy things. But it’s at times like this; it’s also a good reminder that it’s not nearly as important. And most jobs and projects aren’t. We stress a lot about things that in the grand scheme are laughably unimportant. So why get worked up? Sure, something might go wrong, or you might miss an email. Is it going to be stressful? Only if we let it. The truth is it is as big a deal as we let it be. So let’s keep some perspective and remember that it’s all going to be okay.
A Quote I’m Thinking About
People are not so complicated. Relationships between people are complicated
Amos Tversky
