What I’m Working On: Staying Healthy (As Possible)

It’s incredibly easy to be unhealthy right now. My gym is closed and working out at home isn’t quite cutting it. So inevitably I’ve had to rely on tightening up on my nutrition. Food has always been a dangerous variable in my life. I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia for a long time. And while I’ve been able to cope, a crisis like this makes it very difficult to keep a clear head. There’s never an apparent fix to ED and dysmorphic disorders. I find journaling and daily runs/walks help a lot. But of course, the demon always comes creeping back to the mirror. The best we can do right now is try to keep a clear mind and be lenient with ourselves. Things won’t be the same, we will slip up, and that’s okay. It’s important to remember that this is just a moment in time. We will be able to get back to our routines and our “optimum” routines. Forgive yourself now so you can come back strong later. Do what you can, and be comfortable with change.

What I’m Struggling With: Focus

I can’t seem to focus on anything for longer than 20 minutes. Doing any kind of long-form work or activity is somehow out of reach. My work has plummeted, writing feels like a chore, and my reading habits are jumpy at best. I have a feeling everyone else is going through something similar. Somehow the only things that feel normal are things that I have put away until recently. Suddenly video games are providing the most comfort — the craziness of the outside world outmatches fantasy for once. Usually, I would chide myself for spending so much time playing games and watching TV but I’m not sure I can afford to be that hard on myself right now. I’d love to get a bit more writing done and be a bit more productive but I also don’t think I can afford to ask too much of myself. A little every day is the most we can ask of ourselves right now. Choose alive time when we can, and forgive ourselves if we need a moment to choose comfort.

A Quote I’m Thinking About

“I have learned to be a friend to myself Great improvement this indeed Such a one can never be said to be alone for know that he who is a friend to himself is a friend to all mankind”

Seneca The Younger